A Personal Design Project

Ok....well, here is what I completed tonight. It only took me about 2.5 hours. It isn't anything really complicated, and I'm pretty sure it needs something else.....but this was my first shot. I do like the organic look of it, and the colors.

I Want To Be a Designer, Gosh Darnit!

I want more than anything to be a graphic designer. But, I feel like I constantly have an artist's block. I have all of these great ideas of things I want to design....but when I try, I just sit and stare at my computer screen, not knowing where to begin.

This makes me extremely nervous. There are so many people in my class that design things in their spare time and they look really awesome. I feel like even though I study and read about graphic design to try and be ahead of the game, really I need to be using my computer rather than having my nose stuck in a book. So......from now on, I want to try and design one thing a week. I'm not saying that it's going to be super fabulous, but I think just simply trying and working my way through the programs will help. I'm just such a perfectionist and I'm terrified of failure, that sometimes it's hard to just start designing while not really knowing how to do something.

So, here goes....I'm pulling out my moleskine notebook.....now!

I'm in a Funk....

Well, lately I have been in a little bit of a funk. Unfortunately, I am having difficulties with my thyroid again. This, most likely, is the cause of my fatigue, anxiety, and depression.

A little history on my thyroid issues:

About 5 years ago, I was diagnosed with cysts on my thyroid. My doctor at the time told me that he couldn't remove them, but that I needed to have an MRI done every couple of years to make sure that they don't get worse. Turns out that they can grow larger, even becoming tumors and cancerous.

Well, due to not having insurance, I have yet to get my thyroid checked since. A few weeks ago, I was having issues with fatigue and nausea, as well as having anxiety attacks. The doctor did numerous tests, thinking it could be my gallbladder or pancreas. I got my tests back this week, and everything was clean. (Which is great!) But, knowing my medical history, he thinks my thyroid is causing my symptoms and he wants to do an MRI scan. It's going to cost $200 +, and frankly, I don't have the money. I'm currently looking for a job so that I can hopefully save the money and get the scan done in the near future. But, honestly, not many places are hiring right now. So, in the meantime, I feel crappy and get to worry about whether or not I have thyroid cancer.

I'm trying to exercise and eat healthy and not get too stressed out, to help alleviate some of my symptoms. Hopefully the exercise will help some, but I think the stress will be around no matter what. Which is bad, because that's the worse thing for me....but, what am I gonna do...?

Speaking of exercising, I met with a personal trainer today. Ok, he's a friend of mine, but he's legit. He just got his personal training certification and he needed a couple of guinea pigs to get him experience. So, the first month is free, then I get a discounted rate thereafter. The CMM 1/2 is in 8 weeks, so we are training for that (he is an Ironman, so this is his specialty) and we are doing some core workouts as well. I'm hoping that this will help me get back to that size I so desperately want to be again....I mean, it's only a few inches, and about 10 lbs....but it's always those vanity pounds that are the hardest to lose. And me being a petite girl to begin with, one can really tell that I have gained weight.

So, here's to trying to get back to that happy size and it helping to relieve some stress so that my thyroid can calm itself while I try and find the money to make it better!

-jleigh

While snow is nice, I want it to go away

I've lived in Tennessee for 17 years now....I know, even I can't believe it! After moving up from Florida, I have always been excited to see snow in the forecast. Well, this winter, I have seen more snow than I have in my whole time here, combined. The first snow I got really excited! I made chili, had a movie day, and cuddled up with Nate; all of the things you should do when it snows. Now, about 4 snows later, I get excited, but only because of the hope of getting out of school. And really, I just want it to warm up, so that my walks to school can be more enjoyable and so that I can bring out my flip flops again.

Not to mention that I am really, really anxious to get outside and run! The 1/2 marathon is just 8 weeks away and I have yet to break that 5 mile mark....and the last time I ran was weeks ago. The weather is just putting a damper on a lot. It's hard to get out of bed when it's cold and I hate leaving the apartment, because I don't want to brave the frigid cold. I am praying that the warm weather will move in soon, but so far, the forecast has nothing but more snow and low temperatures.

The cold weather is exactly why I hate the north. I can't wait until I graduate and am able to move further South.

-jleigh